Blood was gushing from my very body like butter gushing from a dolphin’s satchel. Or something. How would this end? Would I make it through? Would I…
As I write this you are only 1 day old and have already been on an amazing journey…
This forest wasn’t going to stop me getting to where I wanted to be; where I needed to be. The leaves flew by, the branches smacked my body as I dashed past them and the twigs below my feet crackled and snapped with my gathering pace. I was winning this battle. Human versus nature. Desire versus defeat. Nothing could beat me… until something leapt out from behind a tree.
When it comes to knowing what my career is, well, I don’t. I know that sounds ridiculous, like a frog that can matchmake with the help of marzipan and some berries; but it’s true.
Within seconds I was whisking him over a nearby railing and onto safety. What a relief! Crowds cheered. Women threw underwear. Men slapped my back; an elderly woman baked me a cake and a man without legs suddenly found the inspiration to tap dance.
Confidence is a strange thing, isn’t it? In certain situations it can be there in abundance and, in others, it seemingly crawls away to leave you exposed and shy; the metaphorical pair of trousers in the worryingly realistic dream of school assemblies.
“HI sexy, it’s Leigh. I saw you and you sound HOT. Wud luv to chat. Txt me.” Well, there was nothing in that message that could possibly lead me to be mistaken: Leigh wanted me to text her.
Mistletoe by it’s very festive nature is something to be shared. The question I have is this: When? When should mistletoe be shared and, whilst we’re on the subject of questions: When actually is “Christmastime”?