General Election 2017. It has been called.
The rumour mills started this morning when Theresa May announced that she’d have an announcement. And an announcement it was.
But about The General Election 2017. (The opening line was a giveaway, if I’m honest.)
Immediately the leader of The Liberal Democrats reacted. As did the The Leader of The Opposition. Admittedly, Mr Corbyn’s immediacy was delayed by half-an-hour of so, but what is time if not a man-made concept anyway? Mr Corbyn isn’t one for conforming and so his immediacy was at a far more laid-back pace.
One leader’s procrastination is another’s relaxed immediacy. After all, less haste, more… paste? I forget the saying. It applies here though. More paste with which to stick up those values to the wall so everyone can see them in the lead up to The Big Vote. (So much easier to erect that a huge stone tablet too.)
The Big Vote
June 8th. The run in is going to take up social media, social meetings, social workers’ lunch breaks… it could possibly be the most sociable election of our time. After #Brexit, of course. (Although, in retrospect, I suppose that made us quite anti-social in terms of leaving the European party and going to stand in the kitchen on our own. Still, it’s a kitchen stocked with bendy bananas and unsolicited moonshine. The best kitchens always are.)
It is thought that the nation has become apathetic. Figures showing the breakdown of voters in the EU debate indeed prove that the more senior side of the country turned out to vote; whereas the youth – whom #Brexit was to mostly affect – merely stayed at home, dipping their straight bananas into well regulated vats of Belgian cow tears.
Which leads me to an idea for The General Election 2017, but also a question. A wise man once said to me, “Always have the courage of your convictions”. In this case, I do… but also I don’t.
Why not use an app for voting?
It is 2017. It seems obvious to me. Apps are used to vote on TV shows and, if you’re my fiancee, The Grand National. (I jest, yet she has “voted” for the winning horse for the last 3 years on the… well, on the trot.) Why aren’t we using apps to increase voting turn out?
It seems obvious to me, but no sooner had I mentioned it on social media (proving my earlier point), than I was slighted.
The world isn’t an honest place, you see.
Surely, when we can have postal votes for The General Election 2017, we can have online voting, or votes carried out on your phone. In fact, I voted for the leader of my own particular choice of party via an online option. (I believe he was asleep at the time. As, retrospectively, I may well have been too…)
George Benson, Whitney Houston, Sexual Chocolate from Coming To America and myself. We all believe that the children are the future. Okay, maybe they can’t vote; the 18-year olds and upwards can. They were once the future. Now they’re women. And men. And busy.
I am a 40-year-old man and there are still times where I can’t be bothered to go to the shop, so I’ll have cereal for tea. Not always. Rarely, in fact. It hasn’t actually happened for some time… But I have done it. And that’s for food; not even voting.
If we can vote for winners of reality shows, then surely we can vote for winners of actual reality at the touch of a button.
As for the world not being trusting. I know for a fact that a General Election is a serious thing. I hardly think that robbers and bad guys are going to mess about with something so serious. It’s like when you’re joking around and a teacher or parent tells you to stop. You can do one more joke, but you know when it’s serious.
This is (probably) the same for app manglers and fraudulent hipsters.
Bring forth the General Election 2017. Let the youth debate with their elders in AOL chatrooms. Allow the people you see on Channel 5 documentaries to vote on their phones.
Let grown men use their brains and their fingers to change the country whilst they’re sat in their pants, eating Cheerios.
Reward every vote with a 2-4-1 voucher to Chessington World of Adventures. Or Subway.
Of course, as I say, I don’t really know if it is possible to vote with an app. It seems a good idea. I mean, it seems like a brilliant idea; I’m just not the person to carry it out.
Which is a shame, because I bet a lot of people would get behind me with the idea… but then I’d get all flustered and try and hide in my office.
It’s a good job that doesn’t happen in politics. It would really cause me to become disillusioned with whoever that person was. Even if I only had to vote on an app.
Ah well, back to the drawing board.